Ep. 210 Escaping the 9 to 5 with Molly Sider

escaping-the-9-to-5-with-molly-sider

In this week’s episode, Anna speaks to Molly Sider in the latest episode in her Escaping the 9 to 5 series.

Escaping the 9 to 5 with Molly Sider

Molly Sider is a former wine professional turned life coach and podcaster. Her podcast, I Am This Age, tells the stories of people who have made big life changes beyond the age of 40, where they get into all the vulnerabilities that come with making big life changes.

Molly SiderMolly is a former wine professional turned life coach and podcaster. She went from working for people to working for herself, and her goal is to help others through their own change story. Her podcast, “I Am This Age”, tells the stories of people who made big life changes beyond the age of 40, where they get into all the vulnerabilities that come with making big life changes. She loves to talk about things like identity, living your true values, telling your story, and all the fears that come along with those things.

You can connect with Molly on her website, Instagram and Podcast Instagram. 

*Resources mentioned during the episode*

The Outsiders Business Incubator – A year-long business incubator for experienced corporate professionals who want to translate their skills and passions into a profitable and fulfilling business. onestepoutside.com/9to5

 I Am This Age

Anna Lundberg  

Hello, everybody, and welcome to this month’s interview. I’m here with Molly Sider. Who’s coming all the way from Chicago? So Molly, let’s dive straight in. I’d love for you to tell us. What were you doing in your previous life as it were? And what are you doing today?

 

Molly Sider  

Hi, Anna, thank you for having me. So my previous life, my previous job for a long, long time was in the wine industry. So I’ve worked on pretty much every part of the wine industry, from serving wine at your table in the restaurant, to importing and distributing and everything in between making wine. picking grapes, all the things. And now I make podcasts and, and I’m a life coach.

 

Anna Lundberg  

So why now I have to say sounds like quite a dream job. So I have to ask, what was it that led you to pivot in the direction as much as I love life coaching, drinking wine and serving wine? Sounds pretty dreamy, too. So what was it that drove that change? For you?

 

Molly Sider  

Yeah, it’s a very fair question. When I say the wine industry, everyone’s like, Oh, that sounds terrible. You know, if anytime I was like, Oh, I’m tired of my job, everyone’s like, really, like that sounds, you have to drink wine all day. Like, that sounds really terrible, Molly. But the reality is, you know, it was a job like any other. And they’re really, really wonderful things about the wine industry that I miss. But it’s also a hard job, you, you know, I always say nobody gets into the wine industry to make a lot of money, you have to be really passionate about it. Because it’s hard to make, it’s hard to make money, it’s not impossible, but most of the time, I find to do so. And again, like there are exceptions to this rule. But most of the time, you know, that means you have to work for, you know, companies or with products that let’s just say maybe are misaligned with your values. Um, so there’s that it’s also you know, it’s really exhausting. It’s hard on your on you physically, it’s a lot of eating and drinking, which is a blast. But when you have to do it for your job all the time, constantly, it’s, it’s not the healthiest. And so I did it for a really long time. And I loved it, I loved it a lot. And I also felt like, maybe I wasn’t gonna be able to do this forever. I was in it for about a little over 13 years probably. And it sort of ended, there was sort of a string of events, but I was starting to feel like, I don’t know that I can keep up with this forever. I was also getting a little bit bored in my position. And I was talking to other companies, and realizing I was probably going to be doing fairly the same thing in other companies, you know, maybe there would be a little bit bigger, maybe I’d have a little bit more responsibility. Because of the difference. I was working for a tiny company. But I probably wouldn’t be making much more money. And I just, I didn’t feel like I was growing anymore. And then there were like, all these, you probably you may not know about this, but there are all these like tax import, or at least import taxes that were happening that like the Trump administration was like all of a sudden, just throwing on the wine industry for for reasons that are long and don’t really make sense. And that was really putting a strain on the industry. And then we went right into the pandemic. And so, I, I also my company was super small. And we had been in the lawsuit for almost the entire time that I was working with, there was a whole string of events. So the big the beginning of the pandemic happened. And my boss was like, I can’t pay you anymore. Like I just can’t do this right now. We don’t know what’s happening. And it wasn’t that surprising, and it was sad. And it was also a relief. And I think also because it was the beginning of the pandemic. And you know, no one was really doing anything, everything shut down. And no one was really working. And no one knew what was happening. It was actually it was it was an opportunity for me. I mean, it was hard and it was scary. And I was like what’s gonna happen? And also I was like, well, there isn’t anything I can do right now, but sit in this space and figure out what I really really want in my life. And so it ended up being a wonderful opportunity. But anyway, I, from there. I had also, like, recently been out, or had just ended a relationship because because of the pandemic, and I was kind of like alone in my feelings. You know, in my apartment by myself, I had no job, I had no relationship. And I’m like, oh, man, you know, what do I do? And, and what do I want. And it forced me to take a really hard look at myself. And, you know, pinpoint the things that I wasn’t happy with that I wanted to change. And from there, I had already gotten really into I was already maybe a couple of years into, like positive psychology and mindfulness consciousness stuff. And that just, you know, being in the beginning of the pandemic, and losing all those things, and not knowing what was coming next, really just like, catapulted me into this like World of like, okay,

 

Molly Sider  

I want to learn all the things I want to grow, I want to be the best human I can possibly be. And I also want to help other people do that. And so that’s where that came from. And then the podcast, that’s, that’s how I got into the life coaching thing. And then the podcast, I have a podcast that is about people who make big life changes beyond the age of 40. So it’s like proof that it’s never too late, you’re never too old, and just go do that thing. And that idea came to me a few years before this, when I was approaching 40. And I was like, I was again, like, just out of it, like, on and off again, relationship that I wasn’t super happy with. I was still enjoying my wind job. But I also was starting to feel like, okay, I don’t think I want to do this forever. And I’m gonna be 40. And like, I’m like, is this it? Did I, did I screw this up? Did I miss the boat? Like, is there any chance for me to, you know, still figure out something else and to make changes, and, you know, I needed I needed to hear other people’s stories. And I needed that representation. I needed that content. And I couldn’t, and I am a big podcast listeners. And assuming you are also and everyone listening, and I specifically wanted it in podcast form, and I couldn’t find it. And I was like, Alright, I guess I just gonna have to do this myself. But I also had no idea how to make a podcast. And so it took a few years to, you know, not just figure out, like, how to like the the technology and all that stuff, but really work up the courage to start a podcast. And that also sort of happened as I was going through this, you know, life coaching, training and working with like a team of coaches who were like, you know, why aren’t you just doing that now? Like, what would happen if you just put this podcast out tomorrow, you know, thinking through all these things. And so eventually I did that. And so now I’m, and now I and then I didn’t think I could ever made money off of a podcast or doing podcasts. I was like, Oh, this is just like a side job. This is just a hobby, because I need this information. And maybe somebody else will do. Which turns out was true. But, you know, then eventually, it dawned on me that like, oh, I can actually do this for career. And it’s so fun. Because, you know, just like you again, like listening to people’s stories. I’m also a storyteller. So I like get up on stages and tell true personal stories like The Moth style. And it’s one of my favorite things to do. And, like I love listening to people’s stories, and I think it’s the best way for connection and community and empathy and equity and all those things. And so, to get to do that, for a living is like a dream.

 

Anna Lundberg  

Okay, that sounds better than one, I get it. My goodness, so many things jumped out after. Sorry, go ahead.

 

Molly Sider  

I was just it sounds like a very long winded answer for

 

Anna Lundberg  

anymore. One of the key points that I wanted to reiterate, but everyone else can go back and listen again, because there are lots of insights there. But I personally, it hits me a little bit because when this episode goes out, I would have just turned 40. So that’s the you know, my pivotal moments. Also the way you selfishly use the podcast to learn and connect with other people. That’s exactly what happened when I first started my interview series. I did not know about podcasts at the time, but this was you know, 10 years ago or so. And I started speaking to other people who had quit their corporate jobs, totally selfishly, to inspire me and reassure me that it was possible and there are other people like that. And it’s by far been my favorite thing. For the past. Yeah, almost 10 years, I’ve connected people like you I’d never otherwise have met and hearing these stories. And of course, as my business evolves, also the people I speak to have evolved. And and in fact, we’ve also just come up to four years since that book was published where I had those stories. So we’re also reflecting on how people have evolved and of course there are massive success stories of people growing empires and, and multiple businesses and living in their dream house. There are some people We’ll come back to a job. Some people, most of us, I think, are somewhere in the middle. But it’s so interesting to explore those changes. Going back to the very beginning of what you said, I really wanted to highlight the the piece on, it is just a job at the end of the day, because I think a lot of us think, oh, but if I change, and in my case, it was I’ll go to an interview for the coffee industry or chocolate industry, the movie industry, and ultimately would be the same culture, same system, yes, it’d be fine. If I go to a movie premiere, or something that’s still on my bucket list to talk to the red carpet, let’s see what happens. But you know, ultimately, you’re working in the same environment, the salaries around the say, you know, you’re not changing enough. And I think to have the maturity and self awareness to know that that change isn’t enough is is really impressive. And then I suppose, often, we are forced, in a way and it sounded like a perfect storm, you listed about 100 reasons why you moved out. So it sounds 100% Like the right decision for you. But there are what I call the push reasons that push you out. And also push reason pulls sorry, reasons pulling you towards something. And it sounds as though as you said it was a relief, because they kind of forced you to make a decision. It sounds quite reactive in a way, which is interesting, because I always find it difficult. When is the point that you choose to redefine success, as I call it, and often it is in response, sometimes for promotion. Ironically, you get everything you dreamed of, and you realize it’s not what you want. Redundancy breakup, illness, you know that becoming a parent. So long winded question, I guess. But in terms of redefining success, how has over this time your definition of success have? Or what does it mean to you today? And how is that different to maybe when, before you turned 40? And then your previous existence in the wine business?

 

Molly Sider  

Yeah, that is such a good question. And a lot of the things you just said are things that I talk about all the time, like, how do you know when to switch? And how do you know when to shift? And like, if you’ve been trying for something for so long? How do you know when to when is the right moment to like, you know, try something new, but, but really, what you’re asking is my definition of success and how that’s changed, and it’s changed dramatically. I think, you know, I talk a lot about identity. And so for me, you know, really knowing who I am and what my values are, and identifying as that, rather than what my job is, what my time is, what my relationship status is, whether I’m apparent, you know, those things are nice, and they’re part of you know, who you are. But then when you strip those things down in a way, like, Who are you at your core, you know, is the is the way is, is how we are, I guess it’s how it’s how I stay centered. And it’s how I define my success, because I’m, I’m living my values, you know, I am still in transition, really, I’m still and will, you know, when are we not in transition really, but, but I’m still, you know, working towards creating this big, this bigger idea of a career for me in this industry, and in this medium in this industry. But what it’s allowed me is to really live my true values and show up to the world, how I identify myself every day, no matter what the situation is. And, to me, that’s the biggest form of success that I get to do that, that I know who I am, that I understand it, and that I understand that I’m able to come back to that no matter what the situation is, no matter who I’m talking to, you know, no matter what happens in my life, I can apply those things, I can apply my identity to my job, I can apply my identity to my relationships, but if something doesn’t work out, you know, if at the end of the day, like I decide to, you know, end my podcast next year, whatever, which I’m not planning on doing, but you know, it doesn’t matter. It’s it doesn’t mean anything about who I am, or my worth, or my value. It’s, you know, doesn’t change. It doesn’t change me and my core. That’s what I think success is that’s my definition. Does that make sense?

 

Anna Lundberg  

Oh 100% Does I really resonate with that and I love that kind of authenticity and being able to show up 100% with you, with my clients with my partner, I’m the same person always. And I love that and I think obviously quitting a big corporate job, I think we lose the big title and it took me a few years to not say I used to work at this company or I’m a digital marketing consultant because that sounded more you know, taking on a mantle like coach or starting to say I’m a writer tentatively it takes confidence. They are podcast host. So I love that idea of being caught who you’re also because I, as many women I’m sure have maybe lost myself a little bit becoming a mother. I was saying to somebody Every day that when you’re always literally when I was always walking around in the buggy, everyone sees you and they automatically see you as a parent and, and somehow finding space and time in your life to still be an individual is so important. I was single for most of my life. So the reo re identifying them as being a partner with someone is also a change, but remembering that you are and of course you can evolve, but remembering who you are getting clear on that and staying core to that, as you say, I can be a best selling author or a podcast host. But if that isn’t the case, that’s also fine. You’re still worthy and lovable. And yeah, all sorts of other things going on. So I think it seems like simple, but I think it’s harder than it sounds to know who you are. And to stay true to that.

 

Molly Sider  

Yeah, it’s not easy. Like you just said something about how, you know, you used to feel like you needed to be like, Oh, I used to be this position. Like, I still have moments like that, for sure. Like, you know, this is what I’m doing. But I used to be in the wine industry. I mean, I catch myself in those moments, you know, it’s not like that stuff just goes away, automatically. It might not go away overnight. It may not ever go away. But the point is, is that you can, you know, recenter and refocus faster and easier, it gets easier and easier. You know, you notice more when you’re doing it, you’re like, Oh, look at me, I just like fell back into that, that, you know, mindset or that moment and, you know, have a laugh.

 

Anna Lundberg  

And it’s also funny, I wonder, do you have a question that you ask people instead of so what do you do? Because that’s one of those classic things I met someone once, who asked me so what lights you up? And I love the question, but I’ve never quite been able to bring myself to ask the question myself, but I just did. What would you say to someone rather than, you know, labeling someone by their job description? You know, what? I was for curiosity? Do you have a?

 

Molly Sider  

You know, do you mean in like, what sort of contacts like,

 

Anna Lundberg  

meeting someone I suppose at a dinner party haven’t been developed in so long. So I don’t know whether but if you meet Yeah, I guess often the first question is, you know, so where do you work? What do you do? And you right away go? And that’s where it gets a bit fluffy. If you’re doing many different things in multiple hats. You don’t want to be pigeonholed. Maybe? I don’t know.

 

Molly Sider  

Yeah, that’s a really good question. What do I ask? Um, it’s always a gazillion questions. I’m like one of those people. I have a feeling you are to that at dinner parties. You’re doing like most of the asking most of the question. But I think I often probably start with something simple, like, like, where are you from? Or where do you live or something like that? And, and I feel like, it’s like, the boring answer. Sorry, but. But it I think that just just like more like naturally, it’s like an you gotta ease in.

 

Anna Lundberg  

Yeah, easy. Things are like,

 

Molly Sider  

Yeah, but um, somebody. I was interviewing somebody the other night for my podcast. And he said, and he’s also a friend of mine. And he was saying, he was in like, a group recently. And it’s like a long story. But he was in a group recently with a bunch of people. It was a bunch of singles. And they were all you know, doing the like, you know, chitchat like, Well, where are you from? What do you do whatever. And he was like, he asked, What’s, what’s the emotion that scares you the most to show? And I was like,

 

Anna Lundberg  

what a good question. That’s a deep question. But good. It’s certainly in a dating context or something to get people into it right away.

 

Molly Sider  

Yeah. Yeah. He was like, What are we doing here? This is a single, you know, group, like, let’s get in it.

 

Anna Lundberg  

Wow, yeah, no, I can’t, I’m not gonna be able to steal that one either. But I like the incentive, it’ll have to come up with my own. But I do think I agree with you starting simple and then finding common ground, right, you can have whole conversations with someone without ever hearing what they do as a job. And I think that’s quite telling. So then that’s the more interesting, I think part of part of the next question you’ve already answered in staying true to yourself and knowing yourself. But as we all know, there are some ups and downs when we’re working for ourselves, and there are in life in general, but of course, we might be flying quite freely, especially if you’re transitioning, you’re still early ish days, and things are always evolving. So how do you think you’ve been able to build your confidence as a podcast host as a life coach and someone who can monetize I suppose, and also, I guess, from a business resilience perspective, but really, as a, as an individual, how have you developed the confidence and how do you bounce back from any setbacks that come along?

 

Molly Sider  

Yeah, that’s such a good question. Um, there are a lot of ways I think the biggest, most important thing for me, and what I would maybe advise everybody is to find your team or your support system. For me, I’m always talking about my team. You know, we can’t do anything alone. Like if you go to my website, one of the first things I say is, you know, we can’t do life alone. We’re not supposed to do life alone, and also what a relief. I think a lot of times we think we’re supposed to like you no muscle through whatever emotion we’re feeling or whatever obstacle we’re facing. And the fact is we can’t we can’t do it alone. We’re just not built like that as humans and you know, the one of the fastest ways to regulate the nervous systems when you are feeling insecure or fearful or, you know, overwhelmed or like just underwater in any way, when, you know, first you have to regulate the nervous system, and the best way to do that is, you know, interpersonal communication. In other words, just talking to people. And like, oh, okay, I can do that I can talk to people. Like, that’s what I love to do, like, what a relief. No one can get anywhere. I mean, yeah, I guess you can get somewhere by yourself, but you’re really limiting your ability to, to get to like the big places. And the big spaces, if you’re really just trying to do it alone, we need each other. So I have a team of people, it changes all the time. That’s okay. I have coaches, I have therapist, my boyfriend has become a huge support system. For me, I have some, like an old friend of mine, that I grew up with, I think we’ve known each other since we were like zero, and I have a great friend from college and you know, my sound engineer, like I have this like team of people. And it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s like, just because your best friend, you have a best friend or, you know, a sister you’re close with or whatever, that they’re necessarily going to be on your team right now. And that’s okay. It’s, you know, for me, it’s been finding the people who I can, you know, be my, my most authentic self with. I know, that sounds, you know, kind of cheesy, but like, or cliche, but like, it’s true, like, find the people who you can go to. Or for me, it’s been finding the people who I could go to when I’m really feeling underwater, and I’m like, hey, I need you to help me, like get, like, pull me out of this pool. And then also, like, understanding the things that, like, recognize understanding and recognizing the things that I’m just not, I’m not good at, and I’m not interested in learning to be better at you know, and finding the people who can help you do those things. Like we can’t, you know, all do everything. And especially, you know, something, I think, you know, like starting a podcast, there’s a gazillion different things to do. And it’s, you know, all this tech, this new technology, I didn’t know how to do any of this stuff. Before I started, you know, now I’m, you know, fully editing my podcasts and mixing and mastering and doing all the things but I’m also like, I don’t know how to do sound engineering, I don’t know how to make this thing sound like the voices level and, and you know, my friend who’s a sound engineer, because now my sound engineer, he’s like an incredible musician and music producer. He’s been doing this his whole life. And he like, you know, took his computer. And he’s like, let me just, like, show you this, this and that. And I was looking at it, and I’m like, how much would you charge me? Because it’s just not worth my time to figure this out, I’ll never understand it like you do, I’d rather just pay you like that type of thing, you know. But also, just being willing to be vulnerable, and admit, when you need help, and when you’re not, okay? You know, those, we all I think have these moments where we just want to, like curl up in a ball and like, hide under the covers, or whatever, when we’re just like, I don’t know what to do next, or just, you know, those feelings of like, what am I doing, this is never going to work. Or maybe I should just go back and get a job in the wine industry, again, whatever. All those moments are gonna happen. And they’re normal. And, you know, you’re, you’re not alone in it, like, they happen to everybody. And so understanding that and being willing to share what you’re going through and your story, and then also asking questions and how he, how other people have gone through it. And you know, knowing that it’s possible, like all of those things, because it’s hard. It’s really hard.

 

Anna Lundberg  

I think that’s such an important message and coming at it from different angles, both in terms of tech support, and emotional support, and so on. Right. And I had a client say that the other day, she was working through one of my course materials, and she was saying, I’ve just realized I’m kind of expecting my partner to do all these things to be obviously romantic partner, but also accountability partner who’s being strict with me and cheerleader who believes in me every day and supports me and also a mentor, but that’s really, you know, unfair and a friend and so on. We’re putting a lot of pressure on that one person and as you said, it might not even be someone in your immediate group because they might not be Yeah, they might not have the experience in might not be quite the right place. They can be incredible for disconnecting and so many other wonderful things but actually you do need mentors in particular areas you need the people who have kind of been there done that you need people who are in there in the jungle with you who are sharing the same ups and downs. Right. So I think that’s really important to know. And it’s something that comes up again and again. And my group program, people always say, unfortunately, they appreciate my mentorship, but really, it’s the community. That is the main thing, right, feeling that you’re not alone, hearing what other people are going through and so on. And that’s, that’s really important.

 

Molly Sider  

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And, and

 

Anna Lundberg  

more concretely, then

 

Anna Lundberg  

you mentioned, wow, I can make money with my podcast and my coaching, of course, so what is it? What does your business model look like at the moments?

 

Molly Sider  

So, I think so it’s been a journey. And as I said, I’m still in this still in the journey and the transition. But it sort of started because somebody hired me to make them a podcast. This was probably a year ago, and it was a CEO for a startup here in Chicago, and he heard my podcast and he was like, I like it, like your voice. Would you make a podcast for me? And I was like, me? Sure. And so I did. And it was such a fun experience. And I thought, Oh, well, like I can do like, people would actually pay me to do this, I don’t even know, I feel like I’m so new to new at this. And so it’s been this journey of figuring out like, which thing like, what do we want to focus on. And so I make people podcasts, you know, small businesses, startups and stuff like that, you know, people or people or companies, you want to make podcasts for marketing purposes of their service or, or thing they’re selling whatever. You know, I help them sort of structure it, and do all that editing. And I, of course, have my sound engineer who’s amazing. And simultaneously working on building my own podcast, and building and growing the audience. And simultaneously, you know, working as a life coach, and helping people kind of do the same thing, you know, a lot of talk about, like, through transitions, but it’s really a lot of talking about getting down to, like, who are you? What’s your identity? How do you want to show up to the world every day. And in terms of like, structure, it’s funny, because, you know, for me, I have to, like, I have to structure my weekend, my days, like I, you know, specifically like, okay, in the mornings, I work on this thing. And, you know, I go to the gym, and then in the afternoons, I work on this thing. And then the next day, just the whole day, I work on this on this other thing. And because they’re, you know, they’re three things that I’m trying to, like, cycle through. And it’s a challenge. Because stuff happens and things come up. And all of a sudden, you have somebody who you want to interview, but they can only do it on the one day that you’re supposed to be working on the thing. And then you have to like, you know, so it’s a constant sort of challenge, but, but it takes a lot of planning, my boyfriend always says, planning is doing. And it’s but it’s really, it’s really true. And it’s really helpful to create a, you know, this specific plan of like, how does what is your week look like? And what are you working on when, and trying to stick with that, but then also leaving room for some sort of flexibility. For me at least that’s important, because flexibility is actually a value of mine. And a reason why, like one of the reasons one of the many reasons why I want to work for myself is I think probably that similar to other people. So you know, not just flexibility and like the job and like where you work, but also flexibility in your day to day and hour to hour.

 

Anna Lundberg  

I’m a big fan of loose structure. So I get such rebellion, people who don’t want to have any structure and schedule but I just from my own experience, too. And we were talking about the my podcast episode from a few weeks ago, when I first quit my job, I just had date, and I had no idea what I was doing. And my day just stretched out ahead of me. And it was terrifying. It was exciting at the beginning, oh, no alarm clock, and I could just read books and do whatever I wanted to but actually, you know, you’re not going to achieve your goals. If you’re just kind of going where your energy is that day. So a little bit of new structure, but then the flexibility to that’s a really good combination. Sorry, I

 

Molly Sider  

don’t mean to interrupt you. But yes, yes to those things there had there I was exactly the same way. And I sometimes can, like fall back into that I’ll notice like a day or a week where I’m like, Oh man, this has been like a much looser structure and is really, what I what I want and what would be productive. But having accountability is really helpful like having someone actually for me to be like hey, I’m going to like bye The end of this week, I’m gonna have all these things done. And I want you, you know, I’m gonna check in with you at the end of this week. So that, you know, I definitely do it because you’re gonna hold me accountable

 

Anna Lundberg  

is that your partner is that you’ve got a paid program you’re in, or how are you getting the accountability and

 

Molly Sider  

the accountability lately has been my boyfriend. But also I have two coaches in the therapist. So I will often and you know, I’m close with them, and they allow me and not everybody will have this relationship with the coach or therapist, but I do it where I’m, you know, we actually can text and we’ll text each other or email each other. And so I can, I can text, you know, my coach and be like, Okay, I did this, this and that. And, you know, just like, acknowledge, like, good thumbs up, because I also am the type of person like, I’m a people pleaser, I don’t want to let anybody down. And it’s a lot easier for me to show up, and be reliable and hard worker for other people. And it’s much harder for me to do that for myself. And so that’s a problem when you’re working for yourself. So it’s really, really important and really helpful to have that, you know, those are, that’s those people are part of my team. They have to hold me accountable. So there’s all sorts of like little tricks. Find those tricks, because they are the only way from Yes,

 

Anna Lundberg  

exactly. And it could be my rewards, right? It was talking to a client, can you give yourself you know, she’s gonna give us a win or give us up but actually go for a pedicure when she’s finished a particular task that we have to sort of trick ourselves as you say to be if you don’t have the, the team of the the bigger organization. And so and I again, love this team, I had someone else talk about having kind of a board of advisors, which sounds very glamorous, or very sort of formal, but it’s the same concept of having different people who are supporting you in different areas. And he, you know, can, can you can rely on I suppose, and one final thing I did want to dig into was, obviously, you’ve pivoted and which or what identity and so on. And we did touch on that briefly in terms of the job title, but in terms of establishing your credibility, and building a presence in this new space. Evidently, your podcast just organically attracted people who wanted what you had to then you didn’t even know you had it to offer. But what have you done practically, I guess, to build your personal brand and your credibility in these new spaces as a coach, as a podcaster? And so on. Yeah, I

 

Molly Sider  

think it’s a lot of first of all, I think it’s, it’s mental, like it’s like, you know, built gaining that confidence to recognize, like, Oh, I am an I am an expert on this topic. Now. You know, on this hard,

 

Anna Lundberg  

right, it’s actually saying I am an expert is hard for some people.

 

Molly Sider  

Yeah, is really hard. And it’s really hard. It’s been, you know, another big challenge for me, like social media, I’m not like great on social media, I love to do it. But also, part of that has always been like, well, there are all these people who have known me as a wine professional for so long. And now I’m gonna just go out and say, I’m a podcaster, and a life coach, like, they’re never going to believe me. You know, what will they think like, all of those insecurities and fears? And so it’s taken me, you know, it’s, it’s really like, the mental blocks, for me, have been the biggest obstacles. And so now I’m all of a sudden, like, it started with just doing the podcast with asking lots of questions. And now I’m realizing, alright, no, like, Okay, I’m the one who’s doing all the research on this stuff. I’m the one who’s, you know, listening to people’s stories. I’m the one who’s been studying this now. For you know, however many years I’m now an expert in this topic on this field. And, and so the more I talk about it, the more I do things like this. And the more I work on my podcast and life coaching, and I see people like reacting and I, and, you know, I, I understand the influence that I’m having, the more confidence I get, and the easier it is to sort of market yourself but it’s been up for me, it’s been a lot of it’s been a lot of word of mouth. It’s been a lot of research and reaching out to people like reading articles, like New York Times articles and reaching out to people and they’re like, cool, I love what you’re doing, you know, yes, I want to do this with you. That’s been how I’ve been doing it for the most part up until now. And now I’m now I’m really like, just going gung ho for social media and, and in like, diving deeper into that realm, which is really scary for me, but, but I feel so much better and more confident. Because I now feel like I have, you know, the credibility. I have. You know, and it’s different for everybody. Like, I know people who are like, I’m a life coach. which I, you know, I’ve coached 10 people, I don’t have a credential, but whatever. And that’s great and awesome when that’s not me. You know, I’m very much the person who, you know, value experience and, and, and credentials and all that stuff. And so it’s taken me, you know, more time to build that up. But now I have that foundation. And it’s mine. And yeah, can’t take it away from me.

 

Anna Lundberg  

Well, I love that because, you know, you’ve explored the different elements of credibility, right, there is the traditional, and I think most of us with integrity. And with that upbringing, I suppose the academic kind of background hold on to those credentials, and we want to have that from an ethical perspective. And that sort of bet is still the formal, meritocratic way that people judge I suppose. And that’s, that gives us confidence and, and the the integrity, the ethical perspective. On the other hand, the mere act of launching a podcast establishes, you’re an expert. And as you say, as soon as you speak to people you’re reading and so and you’re more and more building that. So I think that’s a fantastic platform, just like writing a book, you can self publish a book. And by definition, you’re now an author on that topic, right? So there are many different ways of building your confidence and your credibility. And then the fact that you’re now going out to social media, as you say, hopefully, then you can feel more confident and not feel too icky about promoting yourself because you know, that you can stand by it. And you have the, the testimonials and the experience, and so on to support that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Molly, I could talk to you for a long, long time. But I will try to wrap up. And I just want to say a massive thank you for sharing your stories, so many insights that resonate, and of course, some different perspectives there as well. So really appreciate your time, I guess, any piece of advice, one piece of wisdom, and you’ve given some so many already insights, but somebody who is maybe coming in? Well, in fact, let’s go with your target audience, right, someone who is in that sort of wondering, is it too late for me? Is this all there is? What would you say to them?

 

Molly Sider  

Well, I would say, of course, no, it’s never. I think, I think that, I mean, you know, there’s so much obviously, some so many things, there’s so many pieces of advice, but maybe the biggest one would be like, if you’re feeling like, you know, I’m not really sure I’m not super happy with where my life is or where I am in life, right now I want to change, I’m not really sure how to or what that might look like. Or maybe you have an idea, but you’re not sure how to like go about it. Like, I think, really figuring out what your true values are. Like, I think so many times when we’re feeling you know, down or just like, you know, unhappy or whatever, the, you know, not great feelings are, is because our values are misaligned, you know, we’re living values that are not really ours, they might be somebody else’s placed upon us. So I think like really getting down to like, what do you like, when no one else is looking? And no one else is listening? What do you value most? And where in your life? Are you living those values? And where are they missing? What are the whole, you know, find the hole. And that’s a really good place to start to figure out like, you know what, to change and what to work on. And the second piece would be, you know, find your team. Yes, you can afford it hire coach. Because we need people and get really, really comfortable, it’s really scary, but get really comfortable with sharing your story. Because I promise you, you are not alone, I promise you, if you’re feeling something, most likely, a lot of other people are feeling the same way. You are not alone. So I think those are big things. And

 

Anna Lundberg  

that’s the best way to connect with people. Right? I think we try to show up as this perfect sort of expert. And I think it’s easy for me when I come from a marketing background. So I’m quite comfortable social media almost too much so. And it’s all very far more than this is how you do this. And so and then perhaps missing some of the warmer, vulnerable storytelling side of it. So I think that’s, that’s really interesting. And I love the values exercise. I remember when I first did it, a coach recommended it to me, when I was beginning to explore changing and say what and and it was. So clearly things that were a reaction to the situation I was in and it was very clearly a gap. And it’s not something you think about seems so obvious now in the coaching space. But I think coming from outside of it, it’s not something I would ever consider values. I mean, I’m not that religious, I wouldn’t really think of values. I mean, I’d like to think I have integrity and so on. But it wasn’t something that I think most of us do. So I’m really happy to hear that as advice and is so it’s such a strong guiding star to drive the direction rather than going oh, I need this other job or should I apply to this and so on. It’s just a totally different lens through which to see the world so A valuable perspective. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. So again, thank you so much for your time. Where can we find you, perhaps on social media now that you’re dipping your toes? Where do we find your website? Where should we go? Yeah.

 

Molly Sider  

So you can go to my website, which is just Molly sedar.com. You can go to my podcasts website, which is the podcast is called I am this age. And so there’s the website is www.imtcva.com. I’m on Instagram, at I am this age underscore podcast. My personal is my God, what is that MC cider? at MC cider. And I’m also on Twitter. I am the sage podcast on Twitter. I’m on LinkedIn, you know all the spaces now. They’re amazing.

 

Anna Lundberg  

Well, some of those, at least in the where are you? Where are you even

 

Molly Sider  

even venture into tic tac and

 

Anna Lundberg  

sort of dip my toes there, I’m not very consistent, I kind of half heartedly pay some things, sometimes it’s quite tricky to stay on top of all these channels, but you know that it’s the future. So we’re gonna have to play with it. At the end of the day, there is just the technology and the tool, right, the message is consistent. And people have been super successful actually, with really serious and engaging content on this platform. So it’s, it’s hopefully still still possible to connect with people will be it within the space of just one minute or 90 seconds, which is a bit more limiting. And I was going to say I think the most, the best place for people to find you is and I’d encourage you to, as you said, As an avid podcast listener to find the I Am the sage podcast, and then we can link to all the other links there as well. But that sounds like a really good place to start. And I think so many synergies and parallel stories. I mean, I work with clients who are in their 50s or so. And again, I’m now going to approach or have approached that age myself. So I’m going to need to well not need to but I would like to reevaluate and see where I am and what might be next on the horizon in the next decade. So then I can have you on my podcast. Yes, exactly. Yes, I’ll make big change. So I get to come on. And Sarah with the post 40 crowd with you, I want to be part of your your team. Thank you very much for the offer. I’ll, I’ll take that as a challenge and see what I can come up with. But thank you really money. So, so beautiful, so many insights and best of luck. And of course, congratulations on your success now, which of course is independent, as we said, of any particular external accolades. But really, rather congratulations on finding out who you are and being true to that. So thank you so much.

 

Molly Sider  

Thank you so much. It’s such a pleasure to be on here. And I love this podcast and what you’re doing, so keep it up.

 

Anna Lundberg  

Thank you. Are you at that point where you’re asking yourself? Is this really what I want to be doing the rest of my life? And the answer is a resounding no. But you’re not yet sure what you want to do instead, as I get it, I was in your shoes back in 2013. When I took a good hard look at myself and my CV, and up until then I followed the conventional path. Good school, good university. Good job. I was also single while more and more friends around me were settling down with partners and babies. Now fast forward to today and I built a coaching and consulting business. I published two books with more on the way I’ve lost a podcast. But more than that, I’ve been able to travel the world I’ve made more time for friends and family. And I’ve designed and shaped a location 10 business and a lifestyle that’s 100% tailored to my own personal definition of success. I’ve also moved countries I’ve fallen in love and I’ve had two beautiful little children. So if you want to redefine what success looks like for you, then get in touch to book a call one step outside.com forward slash call one step outside.com forward slash call and I would like to help you do just that.

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